Don’t Throw Your Confidence Away

How do you pick up the 5000-pound phone? You first must want to learn how to be good at it, then have the confidence to learn the right way to do it. If you don’t want to do it, chances are you will make excuse after excuse not to. “Willing” yourself to do it isn’t the best strategy either because your imagination will trump your will every time. If the picture in your head is of someone yelling at you and hanging up on you, you will find a way to opt-out of making the calls. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. We must tap into the part of us that is super confident!

A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. The mind of the intelligent seeks knowledge. (Proverbs 15:13-14)

Conditional faith erodes our confidence

When I coach people, I take them back in time in their mind to a bad cold calling experience and help them change their perception of that past experience. There is usually a lesson that needs to be learned in order for the person to move past the actual event and move forward. There is no sense in speaking an affirmation to themselves while they still internally don’t believe it. All that will do is make the pain of a past experience even greater.

The key to real behavior change is to fill yourself up with what you would rather have, so you will want to execute the task at hand. It’s impossible to make a successful cold call if you are feeling like you’re a failure at sales. Imagine watching yourself play out your last cold call, but this time take on the beliefs, behaviors, “confidence” and energy of someone that likes and is good at cold calling and prospecting and model them. There is no sense in reinventing the wheel.

The key is to have the right resources and emotions to fill yourself up with. If you are shy, then you want to be able to get resourceful and be confident. The easiest way to do this is to think of a time when you were confident, then another time, and then another and you will notice that you feel totally confident. Change your mind, which changes your focus, which will change the outcome. There are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states of mind.

Success is not always about knowing more, it’s about being in a resourceful state of mind. Get your Confidence back!

Everything is energy. If you want to experience a new reality, find a person that has what you want and model their energy.

“Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” – Albert Einstein

What most people just don’t get is that you must first assume the feeling of the desire you want. Fake it until you make it. I had a friend that said to me, “I just don’t feel good in my own skin. I don’t think I can feel pretty until I lose twenty pounds.” What she must do is shift her energy to feeling thin now. If she doesn’t then even when she does get the weight off she will still feel fat. What will guide her to actually getting the weight off faster would be to feel thin and act thin and then she will be thin.

It’s the same thing with salespeople who say, “Once I have x amount of dollars then I will feel successful.” That does not work. You must feel successful first, then you will attract success. You have to control your mindset and focus it on what you want to manifest. You cannot focus on lack and expect abundance.

You attract what your belief system supports.   

Counteracting Disempowering Beliefs

In order to change a belief, you need to have new references and reasons to support it. Once you start to change your thinking, you might find that your mind gets flooded with old disempowering beliefs. That’s natural, it’s like a test asking you if you really want to change. To counteract these disempowering beliefs, you need to move them out of your active files and replace them with empowering beliefs.

I did this by imagining a folder on my desktop computer. That folder is on the left side of my “mind” screen and is called, “Things I no longer believe.” I place a mental picture that represents something I no longer believe in like Santa Claus on my folder. Anytime an old belief comes up that I no longer choose to believe, I picture myself typing it up and dragging it into that folder.

Now on the right side of my mind screen, I create a new folder that says, “Things I know to be true.” I think of my dog Scoobie. I know that she loves me and nothing will take that away, so my new folder has a picture of Scoobie on it. Every time I have a new empowering belief come up, I type it up and drag it into that folder.

I teach salespeople to take this a step further and imagine someone they view as successful in the area they are trying to build new beliefs and confidence. Then imagine stepping into that person and borrowing from them their beliefs and modeling their energy.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)