What or who do we let waste our time and why? Does your Facebook persona match who you really are and how you see yourself? Numerous studies are proving that Facebook can create sadness or depression. Why? Perhaps we compare ourselves to the greener grass in our feed? I have a friend that posts the perfect family photos, but her husband is cheating on her. Is the photo depicted an accurate snapshot of that relationship? Studies have proven that when you project a different realty than what you are really experiencing it heightens ones anxiety. When you view your life as valuable, you’ll view your time that way too. The level to which you love yourself, your self-worth and how you choose to spend your time run hand in hand.
Your time is dictated by what you value most… If you don’t value yourself, then your time is not valued by any standard and thus wasted by who or what you allow to waste it.
Here is what is really going on. From my biblical understanding, I believe we all come from God, but not all of us are of God. Meaning, we might believe we are made in God’s likeness and image, but we might not know how to identify ourselves with that image. Just as we might post a picture on Facebook that is deceptive of how we really feel about ourselves. What do you chase? paper (money) promotions, men, women? or do you focus on and consistently chase your purpose, your gifts, the impact you were made to achieve and the difference that you can make. It’s about knowing who you are.
The definition of self-worth, which is a noun is: The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. The definition of time management is: The ability to plan and control how you spend the hours in your day to effectively accomplish your goals.
Here’s the connection. If you don’t have a sense of who you are and you adapt your values based on who you are around, you end up like a kite in the wind, being tossed around and eventually, find that people take advantage of you. I have a friend that was in a very unhealthy marriage and her husband was cheating on her, but she stayed in that marriage, she says for 17 years too long. I wonder what part of her, felt so bad about herself that she would stay with someone that abused her? Fear is a big factor, but ultimately, it was her self-worth and lack of self-esteem that kept her there. She didn’t know her value and thus accepted being treated horribly. Having a sense of self is having boundaries. Healthy boundaries help you protect your self-worth so that no-one violates the self-respect that you have for yourself. For her we set a boundary which was, I will never be the other woman in any relationship.
When you don’t honor your time, don’t be surprised if your clients don’t either.
If you don’t show up on-time for yourself, chances are, people will treat you exactly to the level of how you treat yourself.
Do you work each hour of the workday as though you were being paid $2,000 an hour? Do you value your time enough to set boundaries of how much time you will dedicate to someone that you know is wasting it?
Let me give you some examples of boundaries. I find that most of mine were created when someone violated my boundaries. An example of one of my personal boundaries is, I don’t sign anything that I don’t read. I was put into two very uncomfortable situations where I was bullied into signing something that I instinctively knew wasn’t right, but I didn’t have a boundary to support my intuition so I ended up having to write a retraction letter and filed a complaint of unprofessional conduct against another person. So, now…. I don’t sign anything that I don’t read.
Here are some other boundaries, as examples.
I spend the majority of my time with people that share my same values and beliefs
I will be in a relationship with someone who makes me feel valued
I will not engage in a conversation with someone about my weight
I go where I’m celebrated not tolerated
Family time is 6PM-8PM no cell phones
I go where I am celebrated, not tolerated
Your boundaries will be tested!
Just like my 2-year-old son tests his boundaries of what he can and cannot do, you too will be tested. If you don’t stand firm in your boundary then you didn’t really set any boundaries.
When you value, YOU, you value how you spend your time. Set new boundaries that support your true self and watch how your circumstances change and how your time is respected to an entirely new level.